As I once wrote in our song ‘Rock and Roll Invoice’, my career choice was Rock and Roll. As such, theoretically most of my time is taken up writing songs. In reality, it’s impossible to be permanently writing. I never try and force a song like Gary Barlow does. I aspire to be Gary Barhigh. So I generally just wander around waiting for an idea to come along. This leaves me with a lot of time to fill, and as I have very few interests, I’m always searching for something new to do. One thing I do enjoy doing is lugging stuff for people. I’m a very good lugger. Sometimes I lug things that don’t even need lugging. And then I lug them back again. In fact when people ask me what I do, I tell them I’m an experienced lugger/songwriter, and in many ways I’m more proud of the things I’ve lugged than the songs I’ve written. It’s sad to think the songs will outlive me but the lugs are already distant memories.
Recently I have a new hobby. My 6 year old niece Lily informed me she has a sports day coming up. I asked her if she’d be doing the egg and spoon race, and she said yes. It so happens that I was undefeated champion of the egg and spoon race when I was her age. The only sport I was ever good at. And they stopped doing it at sports day by the time I was 8. I never felt I reached my full potential. But even today, when I have to get the boiled egg from the hot pan to the cold water tap, I amaze myself with the level of skill at which I manoeuvre across the kitchen. It really is impressive, and I’m not being immodest. So I have decided to train Lily. I want her to demolish the competition. I have been teaching her all I know, different techniques, ways of putting off the enemy. I have become convinced it is psychological, that just the power of your mind can keep the egg on the spoon. Or even the spoon on the egg? And I have told her that I won’t be angry if she doesn’t win, but I will be disappointed. That always works. She is representing our blood line and should remember that when she races. If this goes well, I am planning on setting up an egg and spoon race club for children. It won’t be pleasant. It’ll be like if the Spartans set up an after school club. I will let you know how she gets on at sports day.
Right there’s another blog. It wasn’t that good but it was free so what more do you want from me?!,?
I AM CONTENT PROVIDER. I AM SOCIAL MEDIA GIANT.
And if anyone wants anything lugging, get in touch.