10 Things That Shouldn’t Be Hairy Posted 3rd May 2014 by gareth

Bread, soap, er, biscuits. I don’t know. There’s three. You see the way to get people to read stuff these days is to entice them in with the promise of new knowledge in a numerical layout. I AM SOCIAL MEDIA GIANT. And I know this because I got a fair few likes on Facebook for saying so. My whole life now is about keeping the likes going on Facebook. I used to write songs but I didn’t get the same sense of satisfaction as writing say “Unfortunately my idea for a psychedelic cookery show hosted by Psychedelia Smith has been rejected by ALL networks”. That got 48 likes. I had predicted 34 likes so I was very pleased with that result. I would say I spend 95% of my time working on my social media output nowadays, and the other 5% on music. So I have been thinking of reflecting that in our gigs. We will play some music for five minutes, and the other 55 minutes will be me going through the best of my Facebook Status Updates.
Listen, we’re living in a DIGITAL AGE and we’ve just got to get on with it. Before we stared at screens, we stared at walls. And that wasn’t fun either. So what I am basically saying is nothing was ever fun. Don’t go thinking it was. It wasn’t. And it’s never going to be fun either. My next blog will be 10 Things That Shouldn’t Be Fun. And it will be a blank blog. Yes I said Blank Blog.
I’m a bit out of practice with blogging to be honest. I used to blog a lot in ye olde days of Myspace. The only people still on Myspace are terrorists as it’s the last place the police would think of looking for ANYONE. My old blogs were much funnier and interesting. I would include links but Myspace took them down. Lest there should be a reason for anyone to go on it.
Anyway, that ought to do it. By the way we have some gigs coming up. Please check the gigs page. And this little fella is going to be on the cover of our new CD ‘Lumpy Fun’ which should be out soon.
Thanks for your time and patience,
Grandmaster Gareth
GARETH MONSTER 04